SCSI !

© 1993 Steven Weyhrich
(Sung to the tune of “Dizzy” by Tommy Roe)

(In order to “get” this, you have to remember that the term “SCSI”, an acronym for Small Computer Systems Interface, is often pronounced as “Scuzzy”. Just say “Scuzzy” everywhere it reads “SCSI” and it will make more sense. Also, when you see “][“, pronounce that as “two” — referring to the Apple II computer — and it will fit just fine.)

SCSI !

I’m so SCSI, my disk is spinnin’
Like a FOR/NEXT^[1], it never ends
And it’s you, ][, makin’ it spin
You’re making me SCSI!

When first I saw your processor
I knew that I just had to make you mine
But it was hard to “talk” to you
With DOS 3^[2] hanging ’round you all the time

With me you’d have some power, yet
You kept playing hard to get
Goin’ around in circles all the time!

SCSI !

I’m so SCSI, my disk is spinnin’
Like a FOR/NEXT, it never ends
And it’s you, ][, makin’ it spin
You’re making me SCSI!

Boom boom bah^[3]! Ba-doom boom bah!
Ba-doom boom bah! ba-da-ba-da ba-da-ba-da)

I finally got hooked up to you,
And told you just exactly how I felt
And then you shared your RAM with me,
BSAVEd^[4] it, and my bits began to melt

][, you’ve got control of me,
And I’m so SCSI I can’t see
We need to call CAT.DOCTOR^[5] for some help!

SCSI, my disk is spinnin’
Like a FOR/NEXT, it never ends
And it’s you, ][, makin’ it spin
You’re making me SCSI !

(repeat and fade)

NOTES

1. ^[1]In order for a FOR/NEXT loop to never end, of course, it has to be written with a STEP of 0:

   10 FOR I = 1 TO 2 STEP 0
   20 NEXT I

   ↩

2. ^[2]With DOS 3.1 through 3.3 there was no built-in way for it to make use of the hard disks that were often connected using a SCSI interface. However, with a little patching of that old operating system a hard disk could be used, although you ended up with multiple virtual 140K floppies.↩
3. ^[3]My best representation in words of the percussion that occurs at this point in the song. If you can do better, get your own web page.↩
4. ^[4]Under ProDOS it was possible to save a range of memory directly to disk as a binary file using the command “BSAVE” (parallel to the “SAVE” command used to save a BASIC program to disk).↩
5. ^[5]Glen Bredon wrote many utilities and programs for the Apple II, in addition to the Merlin assembler. One package, ProSel was a collection of utilities for use with ProDOS. CAT.DOCTOR was one of the programs that simplified file copying, disk formatting, etc.↩