Back in the days of GEnieLamp A2 and A2-Central-On-Disk, Doug Cuff was the editor and I was a contributing writer. On one occasion, we had some fun mimicking David Letterman’s Top 10 Lists, applying it to the Apple II. And, having dug this out of the archives, I decided to share it today.
From the April 1995 edition of GEnieLamp A2, reprinted from its original appearance in the December 1994 edition of A2-Central-On-Disk, here are two top 10 lists. If you understand all of the points listed here, you are a true Apple II fan!
>>> APPLE II TOP TEN LISTS <<< """""""""""""""""""""""""""""" Copyright 1994 by ICON. Reprinted in GEnieLamp A2 by special permission.
From Overland Park, Kansas, "I don't think we're in Oz anymore", it's the A2-Central Show, with Doug and Steve!
And now, from the home office in London, Ontario:
TOP TEN REASONS THE APPLE IIe IS BETTER THAN THE IIgs -----------------------------------------------------
9. Looks so much like the original machine Woz designed that we don't need to put his name on the case. 8. Don't have to deal with cretins who ask "What kind of Mac is that?" 7. The Running Man. 6. Typing "IIe" takes one fewer key-press than "IIgs". 5. The mouse is optional. 4. Friends don't mistake Reset key for rewind button. 3. Most IIe's labelled with cool original corporate Apple font, not some wimpy version of Garamond. 2. Can't lose keyboard. 1. An adequate disk operating system will actually fit into 16K of RAM.
And the Number 0 reason the Apple IIe is better than the IIgs...
0. Power light doubles as finger-warmer.
But wait! There's more!! That's right, an A2-Central Show exclusive; not one but two Top Ten lists!!!
Again, from the home office in London, Ontario:
TOP TEN REASONS THE APPLE II-PLUS IS BETTER THAN THE IIe OR IIgs ----------------------------------------------------------------
9. Provides practical use for lonely monophonic cassette recorder gathering dust on shelf. 8. FlAsHiNg TeXt Is LoTs cOoLeR tHaN mOuSeTeXt. 7. Get to make up entertaining lies to explain the REPT key to youngsters. 6. Only two graphics modes to keep track of. 5. If the original 6502 was good enough for Woz, it's good enough for me! 4. Slot 0 sure to impress the babes. 3. Freed from worry of clothes washer mangling disks left in shirt pocket. 2. Can afford one for every room in the house. 1. Reset key conveniently located just above Return key, making word processor double as a game of skill.
And the Number 0 reason that the Apple II Plus is better than the IIe or IIgs... whoa, we have a tie!
0. Spouse can't yell at you for leaving the Caps Lock key down.
0. LIFE IS SIMPLER IN UPPER CASE